Librarian: Well, this is about to be someone’s lucky day. With all the new knowledge that’s pouring in, I need someone to help me sort it out. Who would like to be my assistant?
Flattery: Ooh, are there certain perks like-
Hoarding: No, no Sins! Librarian not take any Vices! Greed won’t let her! Take Virtues!
Librarian: Good idea, let’s see if there are any useful Virtues.
Flattery: We could have gotten a sweet deal.
Hoarding: Greed knows bad deal when he sees one.
Labor: Fine, I might as well take the stupid job. There’s nothing for me to do around here. I’m Labor, I ought to be productive, not just lying around like Sloth.
Sloth: Meh.
Librarian: Splendid. I could use a hard worker. I considered Content and Joy for the position…
Labor: Those two wouldn’t put nearly as much effort into it as me.
Librarian: No, but they would have fitted the uniform better.
Labor: Like a uniform would… What uniform?
Librarian: Well, unfortunately, humans are still too perverted to think of a librarian as anything else but a needlessly sexy woman and that applies to my assistants as well.
Labor: What?! I change my mind! I don’t want the job!
Librarian: Too late. This contract was signed when you gave your consent. And, in the vernacular term, no backsies.
Labor: Damn, I hope Desire never finds out this.
Vice: Uh, boss, we got a bit of a problem.
Dealer: Is a problem actually worth worrying about?
Vice: Well, yeah, you remember that contract form you sold to the Librarian? The blank one that she could use to hire her own minion?
Dealer: Ah, yes, that was a good deal. I should sell more blank minion contracts.
Vice: Well, she used it to snag Labor and he, er, she has been stuck working for her ever since.
Dealer: How is this my problem?
Vice: Well, the other Virtues want Labor back and they’re wanting to find a loophole so they can get Labor back.
Dealer: Hmm…I suppose I could help them with that if there’s a price they’re willing to pay.
Vice: Didn’t you make all the minion contracts unbreakable?
Dealer: The Librarian wouldn’t know how to do that.
Vice: But…doesn’t the Librarian know everything?
Dealer: Everything that’s in her library…which probably would include a few legal books as well. Maybe I didn’t think this through all the way. It might just be easier for the Virtues to get a new Labor.